5 for 5. 1.000 avg. Not bad for a Ball Player.

Five days into the New Year, I've blogged... Five days. For a man whose average project works at the ratio of 300% efficiency to 10% consistency, this blog represents a surprising, if not stunning development in the New Year's resolution game.

But can it continue? Dun dun dun...

Watch out, reader, tonight I'm feeling verbose; it's been an all-out sprint through the first five days of 2009 - four of which have been spent in the theatre, the Ultimate Cauldron of Intensity - and just now am I finally excited to write to my unseen audience. I have hours before me, and a good book waiting for me. My spirit is energetic Peace, bubbling with blips of imagination. How much can I say? Where should I start?

First, reader, (if you exist) I would love to know that you exist. Drop a comment under my words. Tell me something clever, like, "Hey, author, why don't you stop calling me reader!" and then tell me how I should read that in a three and a half year old's voice and should probably respond with a "Nuh uuh! I'm telling daddy yur callin me bad naaaames.........."

Whoa. Zak. Did you really just write that? Self respect = all-time low.

Today I washed mold from my bathroom ceiling, and there's a good chance the chemicals or the air-borne mold spores are affecting my brain. I also changed water filters. The old ones were caked with a layer of brown unidentifiable muck, and touching said muck is also probably causing adverse effects. The Raphael House will get the best of me.

Structure would really help my blogging. As in: for the next five days, I will speak on... [This is where reader input would be spectacular.]




K. I'm breathing slower now...




I have really two things I'd like to talk about before I retire to the book that's waiting for me. (In case you, reader, are wondering, this book is monk Nicholas V. Sakharov's theological encouragment to Love. Though it's hard to understand at times, it's gloriously rewarding.) So. The two things:

The first is an email I wrote to Rachel Mertensmeyer, editor of this year's Westmont publication, The Horizon, where I basically begged to write for the paper. The tone was more or less, "I'm living this amazing life, and I'm learning so much about the just-after-college mystery. Can I please share some of the lessons with Westmontees?" Then the Montecito fires happened.

As Westmont's life plows ahead (or sprints ahead), my thoughts, ideas, "lessons," are left like a hitchhiker in the desert. However, my interest hasn't died, and as this is my blog, I figure I'll pick up where the Horizon's interest dropped off. Here's the email I sent to Rachel a few months ago:

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Rachel,

I've been thinking quite a lot about contributing to the Horizon recently. It's weird... I'm in one of the coolest cities in the world, and for a long time I didn't feel like I really had anything to talk about. It was as though I was so overwhelmed by the last two months of complete immersion, that I couldn't even sink my thoughts into anything simple enough to be "just a Horizon article." But as I was working the other day, meditatively painting, it was as though the Peace of God descended and I began to think, "Yeah... that's what I need to write." So here is my proposal:

I would like to write a regular or semi-regular column for the Horizon (that could potentially continue through the end of the school year) that deals with very practical (and sometimes not-so-practical) first-year-out-of-college issues. I have been harshly confronted by many realities in the city of San Francisco that my experience at Westmont simply didn't prepare me for, and I think students would both benefit by and immensely enjoy the honest travails of a just-graduated alumni making life decisions off the Mont. Here's a small list of topics I think have immediate interest:

1) Manual Labor - a lost art in Liberal Arts (I'm working as a Carpenter in the city; liberal arts at work indeed! Where are my books?! I had to confront the fact that in order to eat, I had to make money, and the only way to do that was by doing the classic blue-collar clock-in, clock-out.)

2) Homosexuality: is it really wrong? (I'm working very closely with an outspoken gay man on a play, and one night we had a wonderfully open conversation about homosexuals vs. religious people and the judgments that run rampant between the crowds)

3) Why I'm becoming Orthodox (Redemption History led me quite directly to the gates of the Orthodox Church... I believe Westmont perfectly prepared me for this rich tradition of faith, but I knew practically nothing of it until the last week of my senior year. How is that possible?)

4) Volunteering as a way of life (I'm living at "The Raphael House," a shelter that helps families in transition. I do maintenance work in exchange for room and board. It's an Orthodox community here, and - edging out Westmont for number one - is the closest thing I've ever experienced to the Kingdom of God outside the Church.)

5) 401K, Savings, Tithe, and Massive Bills: How to deal (While I can really only speak from my experience - all two and a half months of it! :) - I have been starkly confronted with the reality of money. I think I could offer a little wisdom as a navigate all of these things, planning for the future myself. For example: how much does it cost for health insurance? Car insurance? What percent of your income is good to save/spend?

6) Learning as a way of life (Reading keeps you on your toes intellectually, and I have some thoughts in terms of how to continue the education past Westmont, first of which is that to continue learning is A CHOICE. I would particularly highlight the relatively young website "Goodreads" as a great resource)

7) Using the Alumni Network (I've had regular conversations with this absolutely lovely, elderly woman named Rusty who used to work at Westmont. She has so much wisdom, and this could easily be an article about the power of having older, wiser people in our lives as mentors)

8) Domestic in an International City (I shop in Chinatown, get coffee in Little Italy, live two blocks from the Tenderloin, and go to Church near Russian Hill. I hear different languages all the time. Oh, yes, and live with people from Russia, Lebanon, and other parts of the world. Do Westmont people realize how important current events are? ...ummm. No. They don't.)

9) (and I'm not sure if I should write this...but it's an idea, anyway) Long Distance Dating: What keeps the connection alive? (Kellie and I have been together now for about six months, and most of that time has been long distance. While I certainly don't want to make the paper a forum for my 'private' life, I do feel like it's an issue lots of Westmontees deal with and something that not many people talk about.)

All of this to say, I have been living life in the extreme, and would love to share with an audience where I still have some connection. I'm close enough to Westmont to still know how it works and what it's like to be "in it," but have been living outside of it enough that I think I could really help some seniors with big questions. There are still many people there who I deeply love and care for, and this would be a fun and engaging way for them to hear "what's going on with that guy who moved to San Francisco."

Love to hear your thoughts,

Zak

****

So there it is.

Perhaps I could just substitue "Hey YOU!" for "Dear Rachel," at the beginning of this note. Any thoughts? You should send me an email or comment or call me or refer me to your blog so that I can know what you want to know. I would love to write on all these topics - I did author the list - and have also come up with a number of other ideas since. Write to me. I will write back.

Number 2. Remember, I had two things to tell you before I retire to my book?
I'm looking forward to tomorrow. The sounds of the San Francisco Muni system intrude through my window as I close my eyes, breathe, smile, and then imagine: tomorrow will be... Prayer in a 100 year old Cathedral, mysterious gold thread of the priestly vestments, sung Creeds and blessed water. January 6th is the Great Feast of the Theophany of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, the Great Feast where we celebrates the Trinity's revelation to the world at Christ's baptism. I imagine my meeting with Father John: sage words meet curious questioner's impulsive voice. And after that? A plodding walk to Magic opens a world of staging, planning, creating a working piece of cancerously poetic theatre. I have a full day to anticipate.

So the summed up version of Number 2 is: Dream More, Visionary.

If I claim to have these big plans with even bigger ideas, then why does it take an extreme will of effort to carve out even a fraction of a moment in the day to Dream? Even the mini-dreams of what happens tomorrow! Without feeding this playful beast, I will become the greatest fear of any man: insignificant static.

Lord, let my Dreams, Words, Future, be bent on feeding the souls of others. "Poured out like a drink offering." Teach me what those words mean, not in the abstract, but in the tangibly touched. Teach me to Give. Amen.